Audio books ease my anxiety.
Being read to, that’s what it boils down to I think.
Whatever it is, I need to remember it.
-Working an overnight at my caregiving job and not being able to sleep, even though I’m allowed, even though I have to go directly to my next job in the morning
-Not seeing my boyfriend for a week, after leaving on bad terms, and then having him text me that he needs to talk, but only in person, which can’t happen til at least tmrw night.
-How fucking exhausted I already was before any of this.
People in all kinds of relationships say no to one another all the time.
Bosses say no. Employees say no. Spouses say no. Friends say no. Exceptionally close friends say no. Girlfriends say no. Boyfriends say no.
Everyone who regularly spends time with someone will also routinely say no.
Some people will want you to treat no as a special word to be used only in emergencies. Those people are wrong.
Saying no is normal and routine.
* Insert Tumblr bitch about how my boyfriend can’t perfectly satisfy my every codependent ‘need*
Later… Feel like a bitch. Try to be really nice. Think about deleting the post.
I’m a dummy.
“You want to know what’s really tragic? We allow this to happen. We make excuses, and offer up empty condolences, and don’t hold negligent drivers accountable, all because we’re afraid that we, too, might be held accountable for not paying attention. For not watching where we are going. For fiddling with the stereo, or shaving, or texting, or just daydreaming while driving, and not seeing what we should have seen, had we only been paying attention.”
“Under Dutch law, the driver is automatically at fault, unless it can be proved that the cyclist was at fault. The greater responsibility for safety is placed upon the driver because the driver is operating the more dangerous vehicle.”
And when an death happened in Denmark? What did the city do the the street?
“A mirror was installed beneath the traffic light to help drivers see approaching cyclists. A bike box was also installed, so that cyclists would be able to cross the intersection before a driver could right-hook them. And the bike lane was doubled in width by removing an automobile lane, and painted bright red.”
So, I was thinking today about race and gender and hip hop and I had the sudden realization that black people in America were still slaves until 150 years ago… and I’m not sure we can ever fully bounce back from that.
And that makes me sad.
And lose a little more confidence in people.
We are soooo fucking fucked up.
Ok, sorry, I’m done now.
I am attempting to fix the inner thigh/crotch rips that ALL of my jeans get by using iron patches on the inside.
If this gets me even a few more months out of the jeans before the rip spreads to under my butt cheek it will be sooo nice.
Wish me luck.